Oh yeah, and some other stuff in bullet form

• People try to guess my nationality all the time.  I get German a lot, and Spanish, and French which I think is so weird because like, if I was French, wouldn’t I speak French??  One time in the market a guy just called after me, “Sarcozy! Sarcozy!” WHAT, DO WE ALL LOOK ALIKE TO YOU PEOPLE??
• A weird thing about the holiday season here.  Several people expressed to me that the holiday season isn’t really joyful because of their poverty (poverty is their word, not mine).  It made me sad that instead of a happy time of celebrations and family and gifts, they said it’s really expensive and painful.  I know this is true of many Americans, too, it’s just the first time people have said it so frankly to my face.  In fact, sometimes they are too honest about it.  I was just trying to make polite conversation when I asked how your Christmas was, not trying to get into your life’s great struggles… awkward.
• I commented in a previous entry on Cameroon’s begging culture.  Well I think it can be more appropriately called Cameroon’s gift culture.  And sometimes it gets weird.  People will ask on the street “tu me gardes quoi?” (what do you have for me?)  Sometimes they’re strangers, which is like, what?  Who walks around with a bag of gifts for random strangers on the street?  But sometimes they’re not strangers and that’s even weirder because I don’t want to be expected to constantly give things to all my neighbors just because they asked.  And then when I was traveling around, Geoffrey, a friend and neighbor, mentioned several times that I should bring him back a nice gift.  I feel weird doing it just because he asked, but I don’t want to rudely ignore his request.  But then if I get him something, do I have to get something for everyone I know?  And what is a good gift from traveling in Cameroon?  People here only ever give each other food, but Bafang has all the food you could want available locally.  I’m not sure if it’s weird to go to a different region and come back with some cabbage that you could easily have bought in the local market but I DON’T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO. 
• When I got back from my trip my herbs looked dead.  After a few days of watering, I think they’ve been revived!  The bad news is now I’m stuck eating zombie cilantro :-/
• I start teaching this week!  Three hours a week (for three different classes) of English class.  Or, if I have a better idea, whatever-I-want class, which will include life skills, health, business/enterprise, girls issues, and computer science.  And then I remembered I don’t know how to teach!!!!!!  I RECEIVED LITERALLY NO TRAINING IN THIS.  I’m even worse than Teach for America!  Besides, have you ever taught a language you never learned in a language you don’t know?  Because that’s basically what we’re working with here.  Oh god.  I’m coming back to the US before it’s too late.
• An issue I keep struggling with is how well you can integrate before you’re too well integrated.  Because if we all integrated perfectly, we wouldn’t fix any of Cameroon’s problems!  But at the same time, I think what some volunteers perceive as problems from their American lens are actually just cultural differences that might not have any negative implications for Cameroon or Cameroonians whatsoever.  Like teachers hitting kids.  When it’s just a light slap (rather than, you know, excessive and brutal stuff), I honestly don’t think that’s as evil as our American brains want us to think it is.  I don’t think Cameroon is poor and undeveloped because teachers smack kids who do dumb stuff.  I’m not about to start hitting them, but I don’t think that’s a problem we need to fix.  On the other hand, when we first arrived, we were all struck by the starchy diet.  By now, in the spirit of integration, I have accepted it and embraced it and had days where all I ate was a spaghetti sandwich, rice and beans, and beans and beignets.  But maybe that’s actually how kids get malnourished and nutrient deficiencies and all kinds of stuff we don’t want.  IT’S SO HARD!  They don’t teach us this in training!  How to tell the difference between actually problems and cultural differences.  Is teaching English important for development?  It doesn’t have to be, right?  But maybe in reality, if you want to have a presence on the global market, English is essential.  Are washing machines and dishwashers unnecessary items of luxury or time-saving keys to development?  Are there even right and wrong answers to these questions?  Bueller?