Neighborhood Caper

POLICE REPORT

DATE: 22-4-2014

TOWN:  Bafang

NEIGHBORHOOD:  Artisanat

VICTIM:  Lee Hundley

OFFENSE:  Burglary

TUESDAY 22-4-2014

THE INCIDENT:

9:00 AM.  Lee Hundley leaves house for work.  Locks front door.  Locks gate.  Proceeds to school and teaches class.  Nothing unusual happens.

12:30 PM.  Lee Hundley returns home.  Gate lock is intact with no signs of forced entry.  Enters compound.  Discovers displaced chair against wall of concession and displaced duffle bag (owner: Lee Hundley) in front yard.  Suspicions aroused.  Signs of forced entry on front door.  Victim discovers that his house has been broken into and a number of items are missing.

THE BOOTY:

·         Laptop computer

·         Camera

·         Speakers

·         Internet key

·         External hard drive

·         iPhone

·         Beard trimmer

·         Loose change

·         Winning Castel beer cap, good for one free beer.  Because this guy is truly heartless.

SUSPECT #1:  MITERAND.  Male neighbor, 18-25 years old, from directly across the street.  Good vantage point for learning Lee’s work schedule and potential security weaknesses.  Reputation for being a little “déliquent,” and has past accusations for small-scale neighborhood theft.

Lee reports incident to Peace Corps, police, landlord, Alfons (handyman/junior detective), and parents.  Speaks with Interviewee #1, child who lives across the street.

INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT:

LEE:  Quelqu’un a pris mes choses. [Someone took my things.]

INTERVIEWEE 1 : Ah bon ? [O rly?]

LEE:  Tu as vu quelque chose de bizarre ? [You see anything suspicious ?]

INTERVIEWEE 1 : Non. [No.]

LEE : Tu habites là-bas ? [Do you live there ?]

INTERVIEWEE 1 :  Oui, avec mon grand-frère, William. [Yes, with my older brother, William.]

LEE:  Il n’y a pas un autre garçon là-bas aussi ? [Doesn’t some other dude live there too ?]

INTERVIEWEE 1: (appears uncomfortable and excuses himself)

-          END OF INTERVIEW

2:30 PM.  Postmate, next-door-neighbor, idol, and mentor, Antonia Lloyd-Davies, returns home.  Lee recounts incident.  Antonia gives impeccable emotional support but has nothing else to offer.  Alfons arrives and presents new evidence.

NEW EVIDENCE: 

-          Because the incident occurred during daytime hours, the thief must have climbed over the back wall.  Leaving over the front or side wall would be too obvious.  Sure enough, Lee discovers a displaced bag (owner: Lee Hundley) outside near the back wall of his concession.

-          Again, because it is day time, it is likely that the criminals stashed the booty somewhere nearby so that they can come back and return at night to carry it away.

-          Alfons followed their path as far as he could but lost them in the area behind Lee’s house.

The new evidence introduces a new suspect:

SUSPECT #2:  THE “RENTERS”.  Apparently there is a cluster of houses with access to the back wall of Lee’s concession.  They rent from the same landlord and are well-positioned to have carried out the operation.  The renters replace Miterand as prime suspect.

Interviewee 1 returns:

INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT:

INTERVIEWEE 1:  Qu’est-ce qu’on a pris? [What was stolen ?]

LEE :  Beaucoup de choses.  Laptop, appereil-photo.  Beaucoup. [Lots of things.  Laptop, camera.  Lots.]

INTERVIEWEE 1:  Des chaussures? [Shoes?]

LEE:  What?  No.  Pas des chaussures. [Are you an idiot?  No, of course they didn’t take my shoes.]

INTERVIEWEE 1:  Parce-ce que j’ai trouvé un sac avec les chaussures. (Indicates up the road) [Because I found a bag of shoes up there.]

LEE:  Okay.  No.  Merci.  [You’re useless.]

Leonard, Lee’s counterpart and neighbor, arrives on the scene, distraught.  He has been informed of the incident and is displeased.  Leonard suggests returning to submit a report at the police and also with the gendarmes.  A crowd gathers of children and neighbors who have noticed that something is going on.  The people of Artisanat are not happy that there is a criminal in their midst.  Some exclaim, “This never used to happen!”  One woman shares the story of someone stealing her clothes of the line.  She then wrote a letter giving the thief two days to return her things, or else suffer some unnamed (but surely gruesome) consequence.  After two days, all the stolen clothes were returned and left on her porch. 

Carine, Leonard’s wife, arrives on the scene, carrying a bag.  As she was returning toward the house, she came across a bag full of shoes.  Upon closer inspection, she determined that the bag belonged to her and several of the pairs of shoes belonged to her children and husband.

NEW EVIDENCE:  BAG OF SHOES.  Carine had washed them and left them outside her house but within her concession.  All of the shoes within belonged to her or her family, except one pair of white house shoes.

                                                                    

“A clue!”  The neighbors cry, “Whoever these shoes belong to must have been the thief!  They started by going to Carine’s house and took the shoes, not realizing that they would find better booty when they got to Lee’s.  Their shoes must have been making noise and so they removed them to be stealthier, and put them in the bag!”

The crowd grows as people share suspicions and stories.  As someone reiterates Alfons’ theory that the booty may be stashed nearby until night, the neighbors exclaim.  “This whole time, we might just be out here and all his things are just nearby!”  Junior detective, Antonia, with accomplice and neighbor, Patrick, decide to check it out.  Together they uncover piles of banana leaves, peer down narrow alleyways, examine nearby yards and potential hiding spots, and explore a local abandoned house.  Their search yields nothing.

As they return to the crowd, Carine is giving a recap of the incident and evidence.  She holds up the white house shoes.  “These are the only shoes that aren’t ours.  These are our clue!”  A neighbor cries from a distance.  “Those are mine!”  She approaches and takes the house shoes.

SUSPECT #3:  THE LADY IN THE WHITE SHOES.  Connected to the shoes stolen from Carine’s consession.  Actually, no one suspected her after that point.

“Someone must have taken them!  They were outside our house!”  She cries.  “He’s attacking the whole neighborhood!” Someone else shouts.  Emotions rise throughout the crowd.  “NONE OF US IS SAFE!” Everyone thinks, in a panic.  Accusations fly.  Lee and Leonard discuss man with highly suspect behavior:

SUSPECT #4:  BLEACH BLONDE HAIR GUY.  This guy becomes a suspect because he “was acting weird.” Allegations include “he was just standing there, watching, and then he disappeared, suspiciously.”  Also, apparently, “I have never seen him around here before until recently, and now, he’s like, always around.”  He has also been witnessed smoking cigarettes.

Crowd disperses gradually.  Lee and Leonard leave to file a report with the gendarmes.

WEDNESDAY 23-4-2014

With Leonard’s help, Lee posts a letter on his gate and around the neighborhood addressing the criminal.  It is written in red ink, as recommended by Carine.  Red ink means WARNING.  The letter tells the criminal that he has seven days to return everything he has stolen, at risk of unnamed and unmentionable consequences.  The letter claims its origin in the North West, where everyone knows the sorcery and Ju Ju are powerful and dangerous.

THURSDAY 24-4-2014

Lee continues to be in contact with police and gendarmes forces.  One gives him an interesting piece of information.

NEW EVIDENCE:  Bleach blond hair guy, our suspect #4, was recently released from prison.  For burglary. 

The case against suspect #4 builds.  No sign of the valuables and no further incidences to report.

Man in car, the “chef du quartier” [neighborhood chief], approaches Lee about the incident.  He asks about what happened and when.  He requests a list of everything that was taken, including descriptions of each item.  Lee, who has already submitted such information to all kinds of authorities, is growing weary.  Hope is diminishing.  Chef du quartier says that he will do whatever he can to help.

FRIDAY 25-4-2014

Lee receives a call from friends Jillian and Vera.  They were watching the news and saw a report that a man was apprehended by the police in Kekem (a town 40 minutes from Bafang, on the road to Douala) and his car was full of stolen goods.  The police recovered a number of items including a laptop computer and camera.  They suspect this may be the criminal who burgled Lee and that the items are his.  He is asked to go to Kekem the following morning to identify and perhaps take home the items.

SUSPECT #5:  THE GUY THEY CAUGHT IN KEKEM.  Discovered on the run with a bunch of the same stuff that was stolen from Lee, three days after the incident.  The case against him is powerful.

Lee and friends celebrate the imminent return of his valuables by sharing a Kadji.  A sense of safety is returned to Artisanat as justice is about to be served to this cold-hearted criminal.  The owner of the repossessed belongings is not yet confirmed as Lee, but everyone is cautiously optimistic.  It appears this story may have a happy ending after all.

SATURDAY 26-4-2014

Lee receives further information that the valuables were not, in fact, his.  Spirits come crashing down.  This false alarm has caused some damage to local morale.  Lee again mourns the loss of his belongings. 

SUNDAY 27-4-2014

Hopes dwindle.  Future looks bleak.

MONDAY 28-4-2014

Deadline set by threatening letter approaches.  No sign of valuables.  No further information.  No new suspects.  A melancholy veil of acceptance begins to set in.

TUESDAY 29-4-2014

Lee gets a call reporting some recovered items.  He is asked to come down to the police station to identify them.  Unable to summon expectations for anything but disappointment, he wearily trudges down to the office.  To his surprise, the computer he is asked to identify is his!  He celebrates the return of this one vital item, although learns that the rest of his belongings were not recovered.  The thieves are apprehended.  They have already sold or given away most of his things.  Lee sits in the police station as, one by one, people are called in to bring back his valuables.  It is a victory parade unfolding before his eyes.  It is a testament to karma and comeuppance.  It is the rebalancing of Lady Justice’s scales.  By the end of the day, everything has been returned except for his camera’s memory card, the cord to his hard drive, and his winning Castel beer cap.  Apparently, the chef du quartier contacted some of his friends who buy and sell electronics and told them to keep an eye out for items matching Lee’s description.  The criminals (previously unknown to Lee and friends, and outsiders to Artisanat) are put away and the key is thrown out.  Artisanat again becomes the safe, friendly neighborhood it once was.  Peace and happiness return to the land.  This story does have a happy ending.  Lee finishes the episode of Friday Night Lights that he began one week ago, and sleeps soundly in his bed.

CASE CLOSED.